9 Pieces Of Advice On How To Improve Your Self-esteem In One Month

We cannot give our self-esteem, neglect it or give it into the hands of others. However, it is still the case in our society that people seek the validation of others in order to be able to validate themselves. We continue to meekly say yes, when in truth we should say no with a confident voice. We forget that few renouncements are as deadly as self-love.

It is undoubtedly the case that this area of ​​psychology devoted to personal growth and self-esteem has been booming recently. Therefore, a large part of the population knows how to deal with terminological concepts, strategies and certain tools, which have been described by respected gurus and which are intended to help us develop our potential to improve our everyday life.

“You yourself, like every other person in the universe, deserve your own love and affection.”

Buddha

But can we actually improve our self-esteem? The truth is, few can do it. Some people only leave the house after they have repeatedly said in front of the mirror: “I love myself, I am able to achieve what I set out to do, and nothing and nobody can stop me.” But briefly then he finds himself in this vicious circle full of negative thoughts. He encounters insecurity, fear of what others will say, and holds on to this relentless search for recognition in order to keep his self-esteem alive.

So it’s not easy, and it is especially not easy because we often have a limited idea of ​​what self-esteem really is, because telling yourself that you love yourself is not enough. It is just as important to improve and work on such fundamental aspects as how we perceive ourselves and how we interact with others.

Depending on how we perceive ourselves in this complex world that defines our social and emotional identity, there are some fringes and seams that need to be cut off, reinforced or renewed. For this reason, we would like to invite you to learn about the following nine strategies.

1. Learn to take care of yourself

The fact that we don’t know how to feed, pay attention, and take care of ourselves is like a curse that forces us to make the same mistake, behave the same time and again and to fall into the same trap again and again: We look for in others what we cannot give to ourselves.

When we start a project, we hope that our partner, friends, and family will support each of our ideas. If they don’t, if they judge any aspect negatively, we suddenly get the feeling that they were basically trying to talk us out of our goals. We may even take it as a personal attack.

We strive for a happiness in which we have to be content with crumbs, where we go downhill when others do not feed us with security, attention and affection. When we meet our fellow human beings on our way down, we would like to take them to hell with us.

We need to become emotionally independent people, people who perceive themselves as valuable and absolutely worthy to pursue their goals. In this way, and only in this way, will we be able to see the positive side of criticism.

2. Avoid typical self-affirmation statements

We mentioned it at the beginning. There are people who only leave the house after they have followed this ritual, stood in front of the mirror and said things like: “I love myself because I am wonderful. I can do this and nobody can harm me. I am worth it.”

These sentences may well help some, but keep in mind that they are often just empty phrases. That means that they give us courage for a certain time, but after a few hours their effect wears off. These are superficial expressions, we do not become specific and therefore cannot recall any thoughts that remind us of the actual project.

Instead, we should motivate ourselves individually and perhaps differently today than tomorrow in order to awaken our inner powers. For example: “In the past you were hurt, you were made to believe that you were nothing and insignificant, but now your wounds have healed and you have a much thicker coat. Now you are strong You left yesterday’s scared kid behind you. From now on nobody can harm you anymore. “

3. Strengthen your emotional immune system

Having low self-esteem makes us more vulnerable to psychological attack. We are less resistant to frustration, defeat, disappointment. They hurt us very much and we can barely deal with fear and stress.

We therefore have to create an “emotional immune system”. Just as our organism has different organs, cells and mechanisms to fight against viruses, bacteria and possible infections, we should also use different tools on a psychological level. With these tools we create an emotional shield. They are self-love, a healthy self-confidence, a positive self-perception, optimism, resilience, a sense of humor, the ability to put things into perspective, to say no.

4. Our self-esteem is not only fed by hope, we need beliefs

There are people who, in the process of increasing their self-esteem, say things to themselves like: “I will succeed in anything, I will succeed and I will achieve everything I set out to do.” As mentioned before, the battery life is but these self-confirmations are very brief. We should understand that building self-esteem on sheer hope will be of little use to a person with low self-esteem.

What he really needs are beliefs, concrete, realistic and achievable goals. With them comes success. The above mantra can be replaced by the following sentences: “I can am very socially competent. During my studies, I got good grades and I acquired the skills needed to work in the social field. I don’t have to feel insecure because I have the necessary skills. So I have no reason to doubt myself. I know what I’m worth and I understand that the odds are good for me . I can achieve what I want because I’ve achieved a lot in the past. “

5. Accept yourself, you are your most wonderful gift

From an early age we have been guided, shown the way and surrounded us with the magic of praise, compliments or patting on the shoulder and an affirmative look. We have become addicted to the affirmation of others, and when we don’t get it, it seems obvious to us that the reason for it is our own and irreparable weaknesses. Because we are useless, ugly, fat, shy and fail all along the line. Little by little we move away from ourselves, as if we weren’t comfortable in our skin, as if our bodies were strange, as if we hated it and were disgusted with it.

In our childhood, it never occurred to anyone to ask us whether we are proud of ourselves, whether we love or accept each other. And so it often happens that we become lost and frustrated adults who don’t know whether to look outward or inward.

If we really want to improve our self-esteem, we have to do the following: We have to accept both our body and our soul. We need to take this step and understand that we are really the center of our world. We don’t have to be ashamed to think that way. Nothing is more admirable than this body that enables us to move forward, feel, experience, and nothing is more worthy than this soul that deserves to love itself, to be loved and to feel incredibly strong.

6. Search, discover, be inquisitive

We are whispered that it is better not to try, risk and discover anything, because most likely we were wrong again … The resulting low self-esteem brings us to the basement of our comfort zone, in the sewer of inactivity and in the dark Room of fear.

If we really want to achieve change, we should look for knowledge, discover new things and be inquisitive. We don’t have to be completely sure of one thing to try something new. We should take risks and improvise more often and let our intuition and curiosity guide us more than the shadow of fear and concern.

Life and everything that surrounds us hides truly beautiful people, situations and things that are worth discovering.

7. Find the balance between your mind and your intuition

People with low self-esteem tend to be very rational: “If I do that, others might think badly of me. I should do something else so that they can see that I’m a great person. ”- “ I’d better not do that, because I could fail. It is better not to say how I feel and pretend nothing has happened. ”  This always rational thinking and the obsession with taking apart every little detail to see what could and could not happen has very often result in them falling into a state of fear.

We should trust our nose, our intuition and the taste of our emotions again in order to free ourselves from our fear and insecurity. Dare to taste the pleasure of giving yourself the priority, to be number one in your everyday life and to nourish yourself as you deserve, without chains, pressure and reluctance.

8. It is good to also praise yourself from time to time

Praising yourself from time to time is important and very useful for improving self-esteem. But there is one little thing to note here: We shouldn’t just praise ourselves in such a way and exaggeratedly or inappropriately, but when we’ve done something well, something we can be proud of: “Today I’m at peace with myself because it’s me succeeded in getting closer to my goal, although no one believed that I could achieve it. I am proud of myself because I listened to my needs and acted accordingly. “

9. Reward yourself every day because you deserve it

It may well be that every day you use your strength, your thoughts, and your energy to reward others, to help them cope with their lives, and so try to live up to their ideas and expectations of you. But this focus will only have one effect in the long run: you will suffer.

“Those who want more confirmation get less, and those who need less confirmation get more.”

Wayne Dyer

To improve your self-esteem and see real changes in a month, you need to learn to reward yourself in different ways each day:

• Give yourself time.
• Get some fresh air and take a walk, jog or run in nature.
• Invite yourself for a cup of coffee and start an inner dialogue about which priorities you want to set.
• Give yourself a book, escape everyday life, give yourself an hour of silence and solitude.

• Reward yourself every day by staying true to your needs and acting accordingly.
• Surround yourself with the good people in your life and distance yourself from those who make you uncomfortable around and who reduce your self-esteem.

In summary, we can say that we are aware that it takes time to put the broken pieces of our self-esteem back together. And for that repair, we need two basic components: willpower and perseverance. Step by step we come closer to this ideal of our self-esteem, in which we trust and love ourselves more, without fears, feelings of guilt or apprehension.

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Images courtesy of Katrhin Honesta