9 Questions About Emotional Intelligence

Aristotle said that anyone could get angry because it was something very simple. But it’s really difficult to be angry with the right person, at the right time, and in the right way. This finding leads us to talk about the concept of emotional intelligence. In addition, we would like to deal with the complex handling of our feelings, as well as various concerns about them.

The subject of emotional intelligence has already been spoken of a number of times, but do we actually know what it is about? In this article we want to explain terms related to emotional intelligence and give some thought to the topic.

1. What is emotional intelligence?

Are you considered emotionally intelligent if you are motivated, have high self-esteem, or are overly optimistic? The answer is no. Judging from some readings, emotional intelligence means combining these very different properties, but this definition is too brief.

For several years we have heard time and again how important it is to develop our emotional intelligence and, with it, our self-esteem. In the end, however, we only know that these are skills that we need to learn. It is not clear to us in what way we can achieve this and how these concepts are even connected with one another.

In fact, opinions differ on this. There are writers like Salovey and Mayer for whom emotional intelligence is a skill. Daniel Goleman, on the other hand, sees in her a number of qualities that we should possess and strive for in order to be able to develop certain character traits.

2. What does it mean when emotional intelligence is understood as a personality trait?

This understanding is widespread, but it has a disadvantage. The person is “forced” to be a holistic emotional being. Emotional intelligence is not differentiated from empathy, perseverance, motivation, etc.

This perspective allows us to describe people in a global way, linking everything together, but raises a question: Can we confirm that we are a certain type of person if we relate to our emotions? Would we like what others think of us?

If we take into account that it is personality that encompasses large areas of spiritual life, including emotional intelligence, and not the other way around, we must answer these questions in the negative. Ultimately, it’s about integrating emotional intelligence into personality. To make them part of us in order to achieve a certain emotional stability.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, evaluate and express feelings. Furthermore, it makes it possible to access feelings that facilitate thinking, and can also generate them. It makes us understand emotions. At the same time, it regulates these and promotes emotional and intellectual growth.

3. Why have we heard more and more about emotional intelligence in recent years?

Society is awakening as researchers and the media place increasing emphasis on spreading the concept of emotional intelligence. So it reached all parts of the world and got into a society that is used to punishing its emotions.

4. What role do our emotions play in everyday life?

Emotions play an important role. We cannot imagine a day without feeling something, looking forward to something or being afraid. From getting up to going to bed, emotions determine our actions. Even our dreams are not free from emotion. In the morning we often only manage to remember the sensations that these dreams triggered in us.

You can say that we feel and think at the same time. Every kind of situation creates an emotion in us. This has an impact on the path we take and the decisions we make.

5. What are our typical mistakes?

We usually make the mistake of rejecting negative emotions precisely because they are painful or uncomfortable. Rejection means not only ignoring, but also punishing other feelings. When confronted with a child’s tantrum, we often say things like “don’t cry”  or “it’s not that bad”. In this way we convey the message that strong people don’t cry.

6. Are emotions like sadness and anger healthy?

In any case. This confirmation can unsettle us. But we have to recognize that negative emotions such as sadness or anger are by no means unhealthy. They appear in us because they have a specific mission.

If we do not allow feelings, this has a negative impact on ourselves. Every emotion wants to communicate something to us and we cannot hide from it. A person with a house dust allergy would never even think of sweeping the dust under the carpet just because it would then no longer be visible.

If we do not attach importance to our feelings and do not examine our insides, we cannot free ourselves from burdens. Every emotion is present for a reason and we cannot ignore what it has to say to us.

7. What if we don’t understand our emotions?

The information that the emotional system gives us must be read correctly. If we fail, we make wrong decisions. The consequence is that we don’t really know each other, reject ourselves and even punish ourselves.

As we said earlier, emotions are present at all times. The more appropriate our strategies are, the more successful we will be. Our general well-being depends on our mental and physical health.

8. What role do emotions play in the workplace?

The world of work is changing. We are not only valued for our good training or our work experience. It also takes into account how we communicate with others.

Our performance depends to a large extent on how we deal with our emotions and those of others. Goleman, the father of emotional intelligence, calls this ability “portable skills”  . Emotional intelligence predicts success better than logical intelligence, because the former determines our flexibility and adaptability.

Emotional incompetence can be associated with high costs for the company, for the employee and for society. So if we want our life to work, we cannot ignore this fact and we need to train.

9. What should we do as a society?

We still have a lot to learn. Good emotional upbringing from homes and schools is important. For there to be a true revolution, we adults first have to relearn how to understand and regulate our emotions.