Stand Up With Your Head Held High And Claim Your Power

Claim your power, don’t bury your head in the sand and never give in to something that you don’t like, you don’t want, or makes you angry. You have a voice to speak, a look that refuses to see life in fear, and a presence that already calls for more space. So stand up, because true height is not measured in centimeters, but in courage, respect and personal determination.

Charles-Louis de Secondat used to say that whoever abuses his power can only be stopped by another power. In a way, it’s like we’re in a constant power struggle in which we control each other, compete, submit, challenge, and at some point keep our feet still. Instead of living in harmony, we are a society that has always loved hierarchies and the discrimination that comes with them.

“I don’t want women to have power over men, but over themselves.”

Mary Wollstonecraft

Therefore, if we take a moment to analyze the word “power” from a psychological point of view, we come across countless studies in which the same terms appear over and over again: authority, direction, coercion, fear, interdependence, and above all that one oppresses the other will.

It is only recently that this concept has seen interesting and inspiring changes. Nowadays, through psychology, we have access to this area, which is called “personal power”, in which something other than power games, differences or coercion is born. We speak of the possibility to unite inner strengths, to “give ourselves power” in order to achieve our goals and to create an egalitarian society. For this we must first develop our personal strength, our self-confidence, our potential and awaken that self-love that has no limits and finally leaves fear aside in order to trust our own possibilities.

Claim your power and learn to say no

It is time to understand the word “power” in a different way. We can see it as an awakening, as a conscious awareness of what you deserve, what you can do for yourself and what is no less important for your society. There is a very interesting book called Saying No And Still Negotiating Successfully by the anthropologist Dr. William Ury comes from and invites us to reflect deeply on this subject.

Most of the situations in which there is a clear difference in power, where some exert their influence and others are subordinated due to social, economic or gender differences, have one thing in common: those at the top of the pyramid are used to getting that all the time , what he wants. The people who make up the environment of the power holder have always said yes to every project, every idea, every infantile mood.

Dr. Ury explains to us that this type of person is influenced by fear. So if you want to claim your power, you should do something as simple as daring to say no. Believe that what you need or think is right. It’s about something as obvious as setting boundaries for someone who is used to drawing their horizon where they want to see it.

We should also consider another aspect. It is not enough to just dare to say no. No change comes from just a lonely voice and a courageous person who dares to take this step all by himself. Great changes are born from the union of many negations, many people who raise their voices together as if they were one.

We can currently see the same thing with the #metoo movement. Many women at one point dared to speak up, but no one wanted to listen to them or even believe them. In the present moment, however, society is more receptive, because these women have teamed up to put their fear aside and make visible a reality in which the abuse of power had increased immeasurably.

Your power slumbers within you, you just have to bring it to life

No matter whether you are a woman or a man, no matter how old you are and what situation you are currently in, you should think of one thing: Your power is slumbering within you, you just have to bring it to life. This inner impulse should enable you to find your place in the world, the place you want, and not the place that others want for you. This inner power should shine and be creative, should be an inner voice that can guide you in dark moments and at the same time is powerful enough to comfort others and guide them too.

In order for us to succeed, we can work on the following aspects:

• Discover your identity, define your values, become aware of what defines you and what you consider indefensible.
• Discover your skills and your potential. Make sure you understand where your limits are.
• Think about your position in society, what is currently around you and the role you play in your everyday life. Do you identify with what is expected of you and what your needs are?
• Make changes to those aspects of your social and personal reality that you dislike. Be able to make yourself the person you really want to be, without fear, without prejudice and critical voices.

Finally, it is important that you invest time and effort in your everyday life to work on your personal growth to build your self-esteem, assertiveness, and confidence. Your power feeds on your confidence and your awareness that you deserve better. Only then will you never bury your head in the sand again, only then will you be part of this movement based on respect, equality and the ideal of creating a more dignified society for all.

Images courtesy of Hülya Özdemir