I Want A Hug That Will Destroy All My Fears
A hug that you don’t have to ask for and that completely embraces us has great healing power. We humans are social beings and we are connected by our emotions, and we need this daily physical contact through which we confirm our relationships and feel liked and loved at the same time.
We often speak here of the need to learn to be alone to avoid any kind of unhealthy affection that sometimes binds us so much to things and people until we reach the point that we prevent our personal development. Even so, all of these things need their balance.
We all need to be with someone in some way, even if we are very reluctant to do so. We all have wings with which we fly, but also roots that anchor us in life, to love, to enrich ourselves through these kinds of relationships, and which at the same time also make up ourselves: friends, family, relationships, children.
Hugs, a bond of love and security
Hugs, as well as physical contact, are part of our psychological wellbeing as well as our development. Even if a large number of living beings need this type of contact in order to establish social relationships with their own, in the case of humans, caressing, hugging and skin contact have other functions that are well worth getting to know.
Our social brain needs hugs and caresses
When we are born, our brain is still a long way from being fully developed; it has reached about 25% of its full development. The other neural structures and connections are developed particularly in the first five years of life, whereby the way in which you grow up plays a decisive role.
We should remind ourselves that in the first few months of life one does not yet have language and that communication takes place through feelings, through these caresses, these kisses, these hugs and that warm voice that gives us attention and security.
If a child does not get attention, if they cry, if no one reassures them, no one weighs them, and no one cares for them with true love, it creates stress. A brain that is used to releasing the stress hormone cortisol is a brain that is not developing in an optimal way.
Social isolation or the withdrawal of cuddles during a child’s early life ensure that many brain cells do not mature in order to form the white brain mass. At the same time, less myelin is produced, which is essential for the communication between the brain cells.
All of this will create some cognitive backwardness, as will social or emotional deficits.
The importance of hugs in love relationships
The power of a hug sometimes means more than words. Non-verbal language has a direct influence on our emotional world, and it plays an even more important role in our partnership relationships when communication is accompanied by physical contact.
Something as simple and elementary as a hug creates an immense sense of fulfillment for whoever is hugging and whoever is being hugged. This is good for both, as this gesture basically means food for the brain and is perhaps even more valuable than real food at this moment.
You don’t ask for hugs, it’s not a currency that you exchange or demand. It’s also important to realize that not all hugs are created equal. When they come from the person we love and who has a place in our hearts, our brains will secrete oxytocin, a hormone associated with wellbeing and pleasure.
Nothing can reach the meaning of a hug when we are in a moment of doubt or emotional discomfort, when fear and nervousness come to visit us.
The feeling of being hugged with strength, love and honesty by that special person almost instantly soothes that cold feeling in the soul as it shows us that all is well. That the world is at rest.
A hug takes the stress out of us, reduces nervousness and is good for our physical and mental health. A hug strengthens our bond with a loved one.
As we have noted before, we know that it is important to always maintain that true love and avoid excessive attachment that leaves no room for personal growth .
Nevertheless, these kinds of gestures are vital in a relationship to confirm the own relationship, because we all need this feeling of security and want to receive as well as give protection.
Ultimately, it is a question of building a unit for two. So don’t skimp on hugs, don’t put them off until tomorrow, and don’t let your partner ask for them first.
Practice the “Bear’s Hug”, such a strong hug that almost takes your breath away, but at the same time transmits messages like: “I support you, I share your joy, your sorrows and I love you.”
Images courtesy of Shaun Tan, Lucy Campbell, PEIBEE, Kyungduk Kim
