Moving In Together: You Should Answer These 3 Questions First!

Moving in together and sharing everyday life is a step forward in most relationships, but not as mandatory as the classic “until death do you part”. Even so, it is an important decision that should be carefully considered. The goal is definitely to cement a relationship that is stable and life-enriching.

Before living together, you should get to know each other well enough and make some basic arrangements. It is important that both partners have a similar idea about certain aspects that can lead to problems if they are not clearly defined.

Honesty with yourself and your partner is fundamental when it comes to issues that are essential for a lasting relationship. Basically, you should agree on three aspects before moving in together, as we will show below.

1. How important is loyalty to us?

The first question that you should answer before moving in is: Do you agree on loyalty? Many take it for granted not to have an intimate relationship with others. However, the terms are not always that clear and not everyone thinks that way.

This is one of the most sensitive topics in any relationship as it is often not talked about explicitly. It is important to agree on this so as not to hurt the other person. Finally, there may be differing views on the value of fidelity or monogamy.

While talking about it can be sobering, if you aren’t convinced about it, don’t make promises because you don’t know if you can keep them. It is best to be honest and set the limits of the relationship from the start. These can also change later, which is another reason to talk about them.

2. Before moving in, ask yourself: What plans do we have for the future?

If you decide to live together, it is because you at least share this common project – with everything that it entails. Should a person plan significant changes in their life, this must be discussed in the relationship with one another, preferably before they move in together.

Hope and plans should largely coincide. If not, then the development of each life project can cause the couple to grow apart. If one partner prefers to be at home while the other person just dreams of traveling the world, the relationship is likely to break up.

Aspects such as the desire to have children and lifestyle are decisive for living together. It is best to generally agree on these issues instead of waiting for your partner to change through living together. This most likely won’t happen.

3. Is it a free decision?

This is another aspect that seems obvious but often does not apply. The decision to live together should be completely free. Sometimes there is some pressure but no importance is attached to it. However, over time, such stresses can take a heavy toll.

Some believe it is time to live together as a couple just because almost all of your peers are already. In other cases, there is pressure from the family or one of the partners feels lonely and expects to move in together to leave problems behind and find happiness.

It can be a great idea to reconsider your decision to live together when these issues are unresolved or when there is pressure. If opinions differ on these questions, you could be disappointed after moving in together.

Of course, the decision is reversible, and no one can foresee how everyday life will be like. However, there is less scope for chance and uncertainty when there is fundamental agreement or agreement on certain topics.