When Is It Better Not To Say Anything
No other topic, except love, has been written as much as the subject of words, because communication determines our everyday life and we are constantly looking for the balance between words and silence. A Chinese proverb goes: “Better not say anything if you are not sure if what you are going to say will improve the silence.”
We all know this situation, the moment when a conversation should come to an end and still continue, which does not end well. We want to say too much without thinking about the consequences and without realizing that every now and then it is better to be silent. If, before we speak, we were aware that in a conversation where we are judging and giving opinions, we are revealing our personality and labeling ourselves, we would most likely not allow our tongue to move faster than our thoughts.
“It takes two years to learn to speak and a lifetime to understand to be silent.”
Ernest Hemmingway
Say too much or, better still, say nothing
Often times, among friends, within family, and around people we love, we don’t pay attention to the way we speak. That is why it is also said that trust is a flower that must be treated tenderly. and thats the way it is.
The words we utter to those around us are sometimes sharper than any blade and hurt those we really love and cherish. They pile up to form walls that are difficult to tear down again. Even if we find it difficult to hold on to ourselves from time to time, it is therefore important to choose our words carefully, first tell ourselves what we want to convey to another person, weigh the consequences and always remain respectful.
“The wounds inflicted with the tongue are deeper and heal worse than those inflicted with a saber.”
Arabic proverb
The art of choosing our words wisely and being respectful
This does not mean that we should always be silent and hide what we think, because we must not forget that the unsaid practically does not exist. Words that are liberating and that come from the heart to find a place in another person’s heart are words that are of great importance.
Saying what needs to be said and being able to listen is the point, not just talking in order to talk – because talking too much without thinking about what is being said can lead to nastiness that can hurt our counterparts.
How important sincerity is
Scientists at Harvard University (conducted a study of brain activity during a series of experiments that analyzed test subjects’ sincerity. They found that sincerity is more the result of absent temptation than of actively resisting it.
This study was published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and led by Joshua Greene, Professor of Psychology in the Department of Arts and Sciences at Harvard University. Greene explains that for these results, honesty does not depend on willpower, but rather on willingness to be spontaneously sincere. He also states that this cannot be safely transferred to any situation, but it does apply to the situation under investigation.
Why we lie or tell the truth
But researchers from (Spain) and the Université du Québec à Montréal (Canada) also carried out experiments to clarify why a person lies or tells the truth in a certain situation. They found that we humans are honest at times, even if that has disadvantages for us. Does that make sense from an evolutionary point of view? And if so, why?
There are various theories for this, because on the one hand it is assumed that people are honest because they have learned it that way and because dishonesty triggers negative feelings in them, for example feelings of guilt or shame. This leads to self-rejection because there is a discrepancy between the image the person has of himself and his or her actual behavior. On the other hand, we sometimes act selflessly, honestly, or because we want to behave according to what we think the other expects of us. The desire to meet the expectations of others motivates us not only to be ethically correct, but also to lie.
