Micromanipulation, The Favorite Strategy Of Narcissists

Micromanipulation is like the sting of an insect injecting poison into you. At first you don’t notice them, because apparently good intentions cloud your gaze. The camouflaged love or the caring friendship has a numbing effect.

Narcissistic individuals often use these tactics. You manipulate others very cleverly and skillfully. It is a very subtle form of abuse that often goes undetected at first, but over time causes serious harm. They portray themselves as victims, distorting reality and projecting guilt onto others.

Their strategies are sophisticated, so it is important to know them in order to put an end to these masters of manipulation. 

What are micromanipulations?

We can define micromanipulation as behavior that is intentionally aimed at destroying a person’s emotional balance in order to gain control over them. This strategy uses a fundamental and essential dimension: empathy. It may sound surprising, but narcissists are very empathetic, but they use this ability to their advantage.

Instrumental empathy can be observed in people with narcissistic personality disorder: They build relationships with others in order to achieve something. You show the victim great empathy, and the victim perceives understanding and harmony, but that is only the basis for making profit from the situation.

Curiously, a study by the University of Louisiana in Monroe (USA) showed a phenomenon that we should keep an eye on: People with personality traits of the dark triad (narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy) can display prosocial behavior. That is, they are able to build relationships, but they only do so for the benefit of profit.

Micromanipulations in Relationships

Narcissists love the strategy of micromanipulation. It is efficient at controlling the victim, attacking and plunging into a network of constant assault and psychological wear and tear. We analyze this situation in more detail below.

Narcissists make you feel like a very special person

To gain control over you, the narcissist must first gain your trust. His main strategy, therefore, is to flatter you to make you feel especially valued. This micromanipulation is the first crucial step to its success.

The burden of daily guilt: the narcissist forgives you

The narcissist is a skilled emotional juggler and a master at projecting guilt onto his victim. He makes you believe that you hurt him and you don’t realize it because he is very skilled. The narcissist by your side makes you believe that you are forgetting things, neglecting their needs, and making mistakes. His only goal is to make you guilty so that he can forgive you afterward.

The victim role that keeps you back again and again

“I would definitely do this for you … If you don’t want to do this for me, then you don’t love me, you don’t care to see me suffer.” “You harmed me and still want to go out with your friends.” “I’ve been suffering for weeks and you don’t even notice it.”

Micromanipulations are constant in everyday life among narcissists. They are regularly expressed when the narcissist falls into the victim role in order to force the actual victim to give in.

Micromanipulation in text messages

Narcissists are also very adept at using new technology. These communication tools are excellent for emotionally destabilizing, doubting, and worrying their victims.

The following strategies are used:

• The narcissist sends a message and then apologizes by pretending to be wrong. He makes the excuse that the message was actually intended for someone else.
• The manipulating person can also send multiple messages and then delete them. The victim then only sees that the texts have been deleted and is worried or confused.

• On the other hand, narcissists often block their victims on social networks when they feel like it.

These harmful behaviors are aimed at attracting attention, confusing, and worrying the victim in order to gain emotional control.

Micromanipulations and envy

Narcissistic manipulators often hide behind humble and simple expressions. You may be fascinated by a charming story that you can empathize with. But over time you discover that false humility is all about resentment. Narcissistic persons cannot stand people who are better, more determined, or more competent than themselves.

Micromanipulations therefore often aim to get the victim not to stand out or not to stand out. To do this, manipulators display childish behavior and try to destroy the motivation of their victim. If you comply with the demands of a narcissist, he will gain absolute control over you.

In summary, narcissists often use such nifty tricks and such subtle strategies that they are barely recognizable. At first they act with affection and empathy, but from the beginning they aim for their own good. It is only when the veil falls from the victim’s eyes that he gradually becomes aware of this situation. It’s time to make choices.