Philophobia – The Fear Of Love
There are lots of phobias such as emetophobia or fear of vomiting, phagophobia or fear of eating or swallowing, gynophobia or fear of women, or nyctophobia, fear of the dark. But one of the strangest and least known phobias is philophobia. Most people see loving as an experience full of hope that fills us with life and optimism, but for those with this disorder it is far from the case.
Philophobia (from the Greek philo for love and phobia for fear) is an anxiety disorder, which means something like fear of love. While the exact cause is unknown, the disorder appears to be related to past relationships that have been extremely painful for those affected. This could be a divorce or a separation that was experienced as traumatic. Or it could be that someone has lived alone for so long that they have gotten used to it and the new situation scares them. Or maybe the person lacked affection in childhood.
Affected people themselves often describe that the confrontation with love overwhelms them. They feel an uncontrollable fear that keeps them from entering into a new relationship. The situation prevents them from getting any further. When the person feels like they are falling in love, they panic and reject their feelings, which regularly confuses the other person they were working towards a relationship with.
The problem is that people affected by philophobia cannot avoid becoming incredibly nervous when faced with the person they are attracted to: it depends on the individual, of course, but most often this nervousness shows up in the form of Dizziness, nausea and vomiting, tremors and a desire to flee. The thought of these symptoms in turn leads to the person wanting nothing more than to get out of this situation as quickly as possible and avoid it in the future. Because of this, people with philophobia reject one of the most beautiful experiences one can have: falling in love and experiencing love.
How does a person with philophobia behave in the field of love ? Sufferers usually look for weaknesses in the person they are attracted to. Often times they are looking for impossible love or choosing people they already know will be abandoned … all to convince themselves and others that the only reason they don’t have a partner is because they are the right one Not find person.
But is there any treatment for philophobia? Experts know that you recognize first of all must, that one suffers from Philo phobia, and recommend to face the situation without running away. You have to learn that taking risks is part of life, that every relationship is unique and irreplaceable, and that you may be missing out on unique experiences. You have to understand that the consequences are usually much less serious than you imagined, or that there are different stages of life and now love is at the door that should be opened for it. You have to realize that love may or may not last a lifetime, but that no one can take away the fun we had together because that person is worth the pain.
These are the keys to dealing with philophobia. It is important that we inform our relatives or partners about our problem without being ashamed of it, and that we see a psychologist if we cannot deal with it ourselves.
Life can only enjoy, by living it, and if we always sit in the waiting room, we will never experience anything, good or bad. If we can overcome our philophobia, we will feel a lot better, our confidence will grow, and we will likely become happier. Overcoming difficulties and obstacles makes us stronger and more courageous.
Images courtesy of denatalia_maroz
