The Emotional Armor: A Double-edged Sword

It can be difficult to face what is happening in our life, either because we are afraid, do not know how to act, or because we are trying to avoid suffering again. The “ emotional armor ” that we may wear in such situations is supposed to protect us from the supposed pain.

The thing is that this way we hide our inner being and wear a mask instead. We may even be too attached to the image that we believe in our environment.

When we put on an emotional armor, we cannot have authentic experiences. It is as if we have a huge barrier in front of us that not only restricts us but also prevents others from realizing our true selves.

Therefore, this shield that we carry as protection affects our ability to open ourselves to the world.

The emotional armor as a defense mechanism

We like to wear the emotional armor in order to face reality without suffering much. By doing this, we avoid feeling bad and protect ourselves from things that might hurt us, such as:

• Relationships with others. Maybe we are afraid that others will judge us or think bad things about us, or maybe we feel that our behavior is inappropriate. As a result, we hide our true selves while projecting an image that we believe those around us like or expect of us.

• The future. This is the moment when we think ahead of time about a thousand possible scenarios. This behavior is used to keep us feeling in control. So we believe that we are prepared for anything because we have thought of everything. The problem is that we can never really be in control of the future, even if we seem to have everything considered.
• We ourselves. We use the emotional armor when we have thoughts and feelings that we find unacceptable. This is done to protect us from our feelings and thoughts.

In addition, we not only believe that with the emotional armor we protect ourselves from possible threats. We also invent different disguises that we use in “dangerous” situations. That is, we use defense mechanisms. Here are some of them:

• Insulation. This emotional weapon urges us to break away from our thoughts and feelings. It forces us to distance ourselves to protect ourselves and not to suffer. The problem is that this mechanism makes us who we are not.
• Repression. This mechanism is to eliminate the things in life that hurt us by moving them into our subconscious. We believe that if we eliminate these feelings, we can never be hurt. However, these repressed feelings will then show up in a different way.
• Projection. This is one of the most common defense mechanisms that we often use unconsciously. Projecting blames our environment for our thoughts and feelings.
• Denial. This is a kind of armor that helps us block what we think or feel. Because whatever happens in our life it can be hard to accept.

• Shift. This “disguise” projects our thoughts and feelings onto other people, situations or other things.
• Regression. Sometimes when we find it difficult to face our problems, we can behave in ways that are inappropriate for our age. This is a childish method to help us accept what is happening to us.

The emotional armor: put it down!

The first step in shedding our emotional armor is to connect with ourselves. Once we know who we are and accept ourselves, we show the world our authentic selves.

Once we have found that deep connection with ourselves , we should take the next step and become aware of moments when we are using defenses.

In what situations do we use them? Do we apply these mechanisms to everyone or only to certain people? When and with whom do we behave authentically? These questions can help us become more aware and find ourselves.

Working on ourselves

On the other hand, it is also important to work on other aspects of ourselves. For example:

• Love ourselves. When we do that, the fear of being who we are disappears and we begin to accept ourselves.
• Let us surround ourselves with those who love us most. It is impossible to be completely fearless. So when we feel insecure, we should try to talk about it with the people we love. Because they can help us with our problems.

• Let’s stay away from those who don’t accept us for who we are. We should identify the people to whom we can show ourselves for who we are and with whom we can build authentic relationships. It’s best to stay away from people who don’t like us.
• Farewell to prejudices. When we leave our prejudices behind, it is easier to accept others. This will also help us to show our true selves.
• No more guesswork. Assumptions are not facts, but hypotheses. Trying to guess what will happen or how people will behave will only make us unhappy.

When we are more aware of these aspects, it is easier for us to shed our emotional armor and really begin to be ourselves.