5 Signs Of A Lack Of Self-love

Loving yourself is essential. Not only to maintain a healthy sense of self, but also to cultivate enriching relationships with other people. And if you don’t love yourself, not only will you have difficulty connecting with other people, but you will also increase your individual risk for mental illnesses like depression.

Identifying a lack of self-love can help improve connections with yourself and others, and you can learn to recognize if you love yourself less than you should. Knowing about these signs can also help you to find a way out of ongoing sadness or disappointment and to draw new strength.

“The worst loneliness is not feeling comfortable with yourself.”

Mark Twain

You ask what other people say about you or do for you

What does it mean to question other people’s feelings, words, and actions towards you? It is a clear indicator of low self-esteem, as this is usually behind such negative thoughts about yourself.

There is no doubt that we all want to feel loved and understood. But people with low self-esteem tend to overestimate what others say and do and question their choice. They think that nobody loves and appreciates them. You take criticism very personally. And, what’s worse, they think that when people express appreciation for them, they always have a higher goal.

If you are inclined to think like this, ask yourself these questions: How can another person love me more than myself? How can someone respect me more than I respect myself? How can someone be kinder to me than myself?

You are always on the defensive

Always being on the defensive is another sign of a lack of self-love. Insecurity and a lack of self-confidence will keep you awake all the time, which not only increases your stress level but also prevents you from forming an objective opinion about what is going on around you.

Staying on the defensive prevents you from understanding what others are trying to tell you. And you feel insecure about what other people might think of you when you are making decisions and acting. It also creates a state of fear and sadness that does not make you enjoy your life.

If you always stay on the defensive, it means that you are preparing for the worst-case scenario. As a result, your response to given circumstances may be exaggerated and even inappropriate. As a result, when you are on the defensive, your attitude towards others can quickly become rude, improper, or you could even become violent. Often times, the product of these factors is a conflict that causes your worst fears to come true and validate your point of view.

You try to avoid conflict by pretending that everything is fine

To avoid conflict, pretend everything is fine. That is, instead of standing up for fairness or promoting yourself, you choose to give up in order to avoid problems. So your lack of self-esteem and self-love robs you of the strength to stand up for your rights.

You are afraid that other people will get angry or disregard you in defense of your opinion. Therefore, you are ready to accept what they say and agree to anything so that they will be satisfied. And then what happens is that you get even more of the impression that your opinion doesn’t matter. That nobody cares about what you want.

You compare yourself to others, even if there is nothing to compare

The habit of comparing yourself to others is a clear sign that you are not loving yourself. In fact, the comparison with other people is not always negative, but can spur us on to improve. The problem is that people who don’t love themselves go too far in this regard. This is especially true of their appearance.

In fact, a person who does not love himself will make comparisons even when there is nothing to compare. Then they wallow in the self-pity that arose as a result of the comparison. Your self-esteem continues to decline and feelings such as envy and loneliness arise. They may even feel they are victims of injustice.

And so the lack of self-love takes its own breeding ground.

You see your successes as sheer luck

It is true that we achieve many things because we are lucky. But not everything is a matter of luck. You need to know how to take advantage of opportunities to turn the little happiness that we arguably all of us into meaningful things.

But if you don’t love yourself enough, you won’t see the value of your own contribution. This is precisely why you do not value your skills or your efforts and attribute everything to sheer luck. Of course, you then don’t see other people in a position to appreciate your successes, don’t understand their congratulations and praise. In a way, this attitude will make you feel incompetent, unmotivated, and go aimlessly through life.

Believe in yourself, don’t be toxic to yourself. Fall in love with yourself and everything around you will change.