5 Crucial Tips On How Positive Frustration Management Works

Feelings of frustration are probably one of the most unpleasant sensations we have been grappling with since childhood. It is not easy to use constructive frustration management, although we have known this feeling from an early age .

Frustration is intense and nobody teaches our children how to channel that emotion. On the other hand, many parents who are concerned about their children’s emotional intelligence display overprotective behavior. In adulthood, many of us still do not know how to deal adequately with our own feelings of frustration – and that can possibly harm us.

But what exactly is frustration?

Frustration is a generally negatively valued emotion. But like any other emotion, frustration also serves its purpose. Frustration is the result of not getting what we want or expect. Actually, frustration indicates that there is a discrepancy between what we want and what we have. In other words, the basic function of frustration is to draw our attention to something and to move us to react.

Feelings of frustration are among the earliest and strongest emotions in a person and also among the most dangerous.

However, when the frustration becomes overwhelming or too intense, it no longer serves that original function. We tend to get used to the feeling of discomfort rather than paying attention to what the frustration is trying to tell us. That is why we are presenting five important tips for positive frustration management to our readership.

1. Distance yourself from the events

As we said earlier, frustrations can be very intense. This can lead to an exaggerated view of events and a distorted perception of the situation. Positive frustration management means that you distance yourself from the events and postpone decisions that you have to make until a later date. Try to get a bird’s eye view of the situation. If you are feeling frustrated, look at “the bigger picture” and see it as an innocent bystanders.

Gather all the positive and all negative aspects of the frustrating situation and examine them. You can also compare the current situation to worse things that have happened to you in the past. Tell yourself that the current incident is less bad than anything you have experienced before. These little “tricks” will “decouple” your mind from what is happening. Then you can look at the situation objectively.

2. Feel your frustration and let go of it

When an emotion such as frustration, anger, sadness, or joy overwhelms you, it is best to feel the emotion and then let go of it. That is, you feel the emotion in all its depth and then let it go. The more you try not to feel the emotion, the stronger it gets. That is the paradox of the human mind. Perhaps in the long run it can lead to obsessive-compulsive disorder if you try not to think about the topic “X”, but then finally ponder the topic “X” all day – and also ponder everything that is related to it, i.e. the topics ” Y ”and“ Z ”.

So this is how our thinking works: the more you try to avoid thoughts or feelings, the more they push into your consciousness or the stronger you feel them. Basic skills such as observing, feeling and letting go therefore help to increase your emotional intelligence. If you want to let the feeling in and then let it go, then practice techniques that promote your mindfulness, your acceptance or your commitment. All of these approaches can help you mitigate the negative effects of this emotion.

3. Get calm and then act

Frustration is a lousy advisor. It drives us to behave in ways that are improper or beneficial, perhaps even self-destructive. Because frustration is a strong emotion that can trigger initiative. This is because feelings of frustration lead us to attack or hurt the object that made us feel these feelings. Frustration feeds vengefulness rather than forgiveness. It is therefore important not to act when feelings of frustration are at work.

Positive frustration management means distancing yourself from the events, postponing necessary decisions until later and trying to look at the situation from a bird’s eye view.

It is extremely important that you take the time to calm down if something or someone frustrates you. Then, when you feel better, you can start planning your next steps or making practical decisions. But it is also important that you listen to the message of this emotion: What is the frustration trying to tell you? At best, frustration moves you to take action; either you change something in yourself or you change the way you react to your surroundings.

4. Distinguish between wants, needs and reality

It seems easy to us to distinguish between what we want, what we need and what actually happens. But it’s not that easy. Often there are feelings of frustration because we confuse wishes with needs: “I want my boss to congratulate me on the work I have done.”  We express a need for protection or acceptance: ” My boss should show me appreciation.” In reality, given the current circumstances, the following may happen: ” My boss overhears and ignores everything, has no time and takes no notice.”

In other words: what we want may be what we really need – or maybe not. Maybe things are just more or less sufficient. So differentiate between what you want – after all, wanting what you want is fine – and what you need and what those around you can also give you. Ultimately, it’s about how you adapt your needs to reality. You can want as much as you want. Nevertheless, at the same time you know that you don’t need everything. They are then simply opportunities or challenges.

5. Find out whether you want to accept your situation or change it

If you cannot change the situation that is frustrating you, it is very normal for your feelings to intensify. When there is no room to deal with the situation, acceptance is key to positive frustration management. So when is the frustration worthwhile and when is it not?

When you are in a situation that can be changed, frustration is your best friend. It can possibly become a beacon for change. Once your frustration subsides, you can start thinking about what changes are needed and how you can make them. If the situation cannot be changed, keep directing the thoughts that are causing the frustration to something else until the emotion subsides.

These five crucial tips can help you with positive frustration management – if you practice them and do them correctly. This way you can benefit from dealing with one of the most uncomfortable feelings while avoiding direct confrontation with it.