Practice Self-love In Order To Be Happy

It’s almost always the same story. We are more and more concerned about what others want, about our duties and obligations, rather than pursuing our own desires. And what is the result? Disillusionment. We survive more than we actually live. We neglect our self-love. As a consequence, we lose our dreams and distance ourselves from ourselves. “Must” and “should” prevent us from accessing our inner world.

If someone neglects himself for a long time, one day he will wake up and realize that his life is far from what he wanted. Often it goes so far that he feels like a stranger in his own life.

“Don’t waste your time, because that’s what life is made of.”

Benjamin Franklin

The trap of adjustment

Many of us are good examples of this deficit of non-egoism because it affects a large part of our society. It is a tendency that does more harm than good to us. But most of the time we have to pretend in front of others and ourselves that it’s okay to put our needs behind us because we have to adapt.

The creativity of childhood and the passion of adolescence were lost. The light that made us shine in those moments has gone out. If you look around you can see how people dedicate their lives to jobs that they don’t love or enjoy. They adapt to their relationships and postpone their dreams, because to achieve them it would seem like an inhuman effort. The dreams eventually vanish as we adapt and our growth continues.

The comfort zone is too comfortable to challenge anxiety, frustration, and insecurity. We choose plan B: the simple life. The one that takes us away from our actual course. The reason is a lack of self-love.

We are cursed to think that it is best to care about what is happening in the world instead of listening to what is inside. This makes us dependent on the acceptance of others.

You are not selfish in taking care of your needs

It always makes sense to do an emotional check-up. We should ask ourselves how we are feeling about our lives, our careers and our relationships. This will give us clues about our wellbeing.

If the result is feelings of disappointment and disenchantment, then it is very likely that we should be playing a minor role in our lives and devoting more time to ourselves. However, the question arises that makes us uncomfortable: Is that egoism?

Are we selfish when we go out looking for what we need and what is good for us? No. The only love that lasts forever is self-love. So if you don’t care to keep it, then who does it? It is not good to be satisfied with less.

Nobody is selfish because they wake up and draw boundaries. Or because he wants a few minutes to himself and is not always available for the demands of the environment. It’s no big deal if you stop being the one who is always there for everyone. Better late than never.

Invest in yourself and don’t forget yourself!

“The need for approval from others is like saying, ‘What you think of me is more important than what I think of myself.'”

Wayne Dyer

Perhaps you are already an expert at guessing what your parents, your partner, and your friends want from you. The problem is that you do not hold hold to think about what you want from you even want. But knowing that is just as important as breathing, because knowing this has an impact on your self-esteem and emotional well-being.

The answer and best solution is to invest in self-love. You have to light the flames of self-love. To do that, follow these guidelines:

• See yourself as a valuable person. Your worth is beyond your mistakes and your failures. You are not your success, but your ability to get up after a defeat. The love you have for yourself is very important.

• Forget about pleasing others so that you are fine. The endeavor to always please everyone takes a lot of energy and can never be crowned with success. Nobody is selfish because they say what they think as long as they do it respectfully and with boundaries to protect themselves, not to harm others.
• Define your priorities. In order to invest in yourself, you need to know what your priorities are. Who do you want to devote more or less time to in order to realize your dreams?
• Enjoy your free time. A day off or finally a long-awaited weekend. Use your time and leave your obligations aside. You are the main actor of your life and nobody else.

“Only when I feel valuable for who I am can I accept myself, be authentic, be real.”

Jorge Bucay

If you are one of those people who lives apart from your inner world, I let you know that cultivating inner dialogue is a task that takes time. Think of all the walls you’ve built, all the time you’ve ignored yourself. Being able to listen to yourself is not something that can be perfected overnight. However, if you are patient, you will be able to do it. And let me tell you, too, that it will be worth it, both for you and for the people around you.