How Do I Deal Constructively With Self-criticism?

Everyone understands when we are worried about something that is really important to us and that we wish to succeed. However, sometimes success just doesn’t come. When you learn how to deal constructively with self-criticism, you will avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

If you want to change something, e.g. your behavior, your appearance or who you spend your free time with, this can lead to your self-criticism becoming a victim. Usually this happens when you are working hard on your goals and don’t want to fail. If you try to change yourself in a way that will please everyone, it may take a toll.

Extreme self-criticism can negatively affect your mental health. It can also change the way you treat other people. You may then think that they are expecting too much from you. Most of the time, these expectations are nothing but smoke and mirrors.

Now that we have found common ground here and know how badly self-criticism affects you: How can you deal with it? How do you manage to feel more love for yourself?

1. Stop being constantly self-critical

First, it may be difficult for you to realize that you are the only one putting pressure on yourself. It is very likely that the people around you are not that demanding after all. But you’re still wondering what they might think of you.

You need to understand that the origin lies in your lack of self-esteem and your need for perfection. If you constantly lack yourself about your performance, appearance, or relationships, you will continually feel worse – both mentally and emotionally.

Don’t be so strict with yourself

Judging yourself and criticizing yourself excessively can create a vicious circle. That is why you have to learn to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism. Criticizing yourself about trivial things can be toxic. Therefore: Don’t be so strict with yourself and learn from your mistakes.

Try to overcome your fear of rejection

People are social beings, so most of what we do affects other people as well. Hence, one of the greatest fears is to meet with rejection.

Asking too much of yourself can lead to feelings of anxiety when you are not part of a group. However, you need to understand that not everyone is going to like you and that this shouldn’t be a problem.

2. Learn from the cycles you went through

You can’t be happy all the time, and sometimes it doesn’t mean too much to you that you’ve achieved your goals. Each of us goes through internal cycles. For example, internal cycles such as dealing with our hormones or external cycles such as dealing with relationships.

It’s normal to experience ups and downs in everyday life, but you shouldn’t be too harshly judged when you have a bad day.

How do I deal with self-criticism?

If you are having a bad day and start criticizing yourself, think about what happened that day, week, or month. This bad experience will have an impact on how you feel about your successes. It is necessary that you admit to yourself what is “pulling you down”.

How you deal with self-criticism will help you understand why you have the feelings you have and why you act the way you act.

Think about what you’ve already achieved instead of being overwhelmed with self-criticism

Even if you already know why you feel the way you feel, but are still angry or sad, try this: As you look at your past, think about what you did “right”, what you achieved or how you made your loved ones proud of you. Then you slowly feel better and can imagine similar scenarios for yourself in your imagination.

3. Do anything that makes you happy

You must wholeheartedly commit to doing whatever makes you happy. That way everything will be easy for you and success is guaranteed.

When you finish what you start, you can better deal with self-criticism. Then you also have a reason to like yourself. Choose a job that makes you happy, that keeps you busy, and that lets you make connections with positive-minded people.

Nobody will love you unless you love yourself first. It is therefore important to find happiness in yourself and to accept yourself as you are.