I Don’t Need You, But I Want To Be With You

“I don’t need you, but I want to be with you”  is the incredible phrase that reflects that we are sure of how we think about another person. But we don’t rely on them because we know who we are and where we want to go.

When we are aware that we love our partner but at the same time do not need them to be happy, we practice healthy and mature love. One in which there is no addiction and the other is not there to fill our emptiness or to meet needs.

“I don’t need you, I prefer you.”

Walter Riso

I respect your freedom, but I want to be with you

In mature love, the freedom of the other is respected and, moreover, it is valued above all because it pays not to bind or shackle, but to let fly so that the other chooses us. So each of us has a number of freedoms:

• Freedom of choice. Everyone has the ability and the right to choose their own path, even if they have a very strong relationship with someone.
• Freedom to feel. Despite this deep connection, everyone has their own emotions and is respected as we all live experiences in different ways and construct reality in our own way.
• Freedom of speech. Each person expresses in his own way what he feels and thinks. This is shaped by upbringing, culture and experience.

So when we have a relationship with another person, be it as a couple, as a friend, or as a family member, we understand that the other person’s freedom is important and we therefore respect their choices.

Love and freedom are not a contradiction in terms. In fact, the latter is broken when we demand that the other become what we want.

It’s wonderful to know that we don’t have to be the same for our relationships to flourish.

I know where to sail but I want to be with you

Understanding that we have different opinions and goals in a relationship allows us not to be dependent on the other person because we:

• Appreciate who we are. We know ourselves and understand that we are just as valuable as the other. We don’t need his approval.
• Know that we can stick to our plans. A healthy relationship doesn’t prevent someone from following their own goals and making their own journey.
• Understand that we cannot be together at any cost. If the person next to us cannot be around because they want to follow their goals, we understand and support them.

So when we are clear about what we want and where we are going, we will have the ability to understand that affection does not mean that our choices depend on the choices of those we love. Because although we share a common path, we also have our own paths and on them it is we who make the decisions.

I can live without you, but I want to be with you

“I can live without you, but I want to be with you”  is another sentence that reflects the feelings we have towards another person we respect, and above all we want him to be free, his dreams to meet. Because no matter how much we want to be by his side, we know that he wants or has to be far away.

From mature love we now also know that we do not need another person to live, even if we want to be with him. This does not mean that it will not hurt or be difficult for us at some point, but that we will still not pursue a manipulative strategy towards the other because we understand that he has his own life and thus his own wishes and decisions.

The world won’t end when those we love are gone. We will have more and more areas to work in, more fields to explore, more places to explore about others, about the world and, in short, about ourselves.

Happiness does not depend on the outside, but on our inner being, because it is a way of life, a choice. And for that, the best strategy is to be good with ourselves. If we do this, we will get along well with others too, because we do not establish connections with them out of necessity, but because we choose to do so; they will not fill our gaps, they will not meet our needs, they will simply accompany us on our way.

“If you ever miss me I could follow, but it’s my choice to stay with you.”

Santiago Cruz