Of Inner Demons And Feelings …

There are negative feelings that dwell within us that besiege us like demons and come out at the most unhappy time imaginable. These inner demons can express themselves, for example, through feelings of guilt, fear, arrogance, selfishness, envy and jealousy.

Sometimes it may seem difficult to overcome guilty feelings resulting from a certain behavior, or it is completely impossible to avoid feelings of anxiety caused by a worrisome situation.

We may not be able to completely erase negative feelings, but we can accept and learn to deal with these inner demons in order to come to terms with them and to avoid them gaining the upper hand.

“Feelings are like wild horses. Explanations do not help us, but our will to move forward. “

Paulo Coelho

Recognize feelings and demons

We can all learn to identify and deal with our feelings and inner demons. We can even learn how to interpret the emotional world of our fellow human beings with the help of emotional intelligence, which is why we can relate to their feelings based on their words, gestures or expressions.

Charles Darwin found that animals have a variety of feelings and that these emotions have a social function because they facilitate adaptation to our environment.

There are six basic emotions in general, and each one has its own function:

• We feel this feeling when we sense danger, whether it is real or just imagined. When we feel fear, we want to protect and save ourselves.
• When something unexpectedly positive or negative happens, we are surprised. This feeling allows us to face the new situation and to adapt to it.
• We dislike something that we don’t like.
• We get angry when we find ourselves in a troubling situation. Anger is a negative and disturbing feeling – one of the said inner demons.
• We feel a little euphoria, which makes us happy and gives us a feeling of security and well-being. Joy leads to the fact that we want to relive this situation, which made us happy.
• This feeling is another one of the inner demons. Sadness helps us find a way out of certain situations and let our feelings run free.

Techniques to Control Our Emotions

There are several techniques you can use to control negative emotions. These are divided into different groups:

Control techniques to deal with our feelings in an instant

These are used to manage our emotions at the precise moment they arise.

In general, the point is to pay them attention and control them appropriately. The attempt is made not to be guided by negative feelings and to express them in the right way immediately after they appear.

Techniques for realizing the origin of our feelings

These are several techniques that aim to understand why we react in a certain way and how we might react differently.

Decisive for this can be a lack of self-confidence, a misunderstood situation, a feeling of fear, etc.

“We are not responsible for our feelings, but we are responsible for how we deal with them.”

Jorge Bucay

Techniques to influence the emotional world afterwards

This technique assumes that we want to deal with our emotional world deep down, which means that we grow internally in order to put an end to unsightly and unwanted reactions.

How can we accept our inner demons?

We cannot avoid the emergence of feelings, but we can learn to deal with them and to accept them so that they do not harm us.

In the following, we would like to give you a few pieces of advice on how to develop your emotional intelligence and control your inner demons:

1 – Remember your strengths and achievements

Each of us has many weaknesses, but we also have many strengths that set us apart and make us unique people.

It is perfectly normal for us to constantly have negative thoughts about ourselves: “That was not right of me!” , or, “I’m a complete disaster! I’m always late! “

But we don’t take enough time to think about all of our strengths, about all that we’ve done well, about everyday successes.

2 – Draw your attention to something specific

When a baby is crying, the first thing we do is try to focus their attention on something else so that they stop crying.

Use this technique on yourself too: if your partner tells you that he is no longer sure of your relationship, then don’t think about the fact that he is going to leave you, think about the book you are reading.

3 – Focus on the near future

Negative feelings sometimes make us focus on long-term consequences, but it is better to be realistic about the near future and maintain our self-control.

4 – Meditate regularly

It has been found that meditation is an efficient way to avoid pessimistic thoughts, not only in the moment they arise, but also in the long term.

To meditate and to breathe properly can help, anxieties and negative emotions decrease.

5 – Think about the worst that can happen to you

When you look at the worst that can happen to you, you will learn to stop looking at your problems and you will be able to control your emotions better.

“99% of the things people do have never happened or will never happen.”

Emilio Duró

Images courtesy of Goro Fujita, John Kenn