Remember The Child In You, Keep It
The child in me is still there, it has not disappeared. It’s the voice I hear when I allow myself to be free and dream. The child who asks me to heal the wounds of my past.
We are used to hearing sentences like “You have to heal the child within” . This concept, which has little to do with spiritual currents or approaches such as New Age, has its origins in psychonanalysis.
The first years of our life and our experiences during this time shape a large part of our personality, our values, our emotional balance, our self-confidence. In addition, many of these memories can either turn into shadows of fear or anxiety disorders, or into beautiful and happy childhood memories that accompany us steadily on our way to adulthood.
Each of us has our own “existential kit” in which the first eight years of life undoubtedly make up a large part of who we are today. And there, in a well-hidden corner of ourselves, the child hides within us. We all pretend that we are mature and confident adults, well protected by our armor of great warriors, ready to face this complex world.
Often, however, we close our eyes and notice that we are missing something, that something is hurting us, which is not due to an external, but an internal injury. There is a child in all of us who has stayed where there has been a certain kind of loss, an unmet need.
We want to talk about that today.
The child in me and its emotional past
Perhaps not a few smile at the phrase “the child in me” or even consider it irony. For many, this expression means weakness, naivety and a view of the world like someone who has not yet had much life experience.
“Adults know everything and children know nothing,” they think. And even worse: “Childhood is that phase of life that we live in carefree and absolute happiness,” is how many estimate this stage.
Childhood is the awakening of life , when many questions come up and we get the first answers. If we are only surrounded by disenchantment, lack, sadness, and neglect, it will not be easy for us to transform into emotionally stable adults.
In order to grow up mature and happy, every child must develop a healthy emotional bond within which they can find sincere love that gives them support in every step they take, with every setback, and courage for every experience. If the relationship with our parents is not stable, it will shape us.
Childhood is not always synonymous with happiness or carefree. No one is guaranteed physical or emotional well-being after seeing the light of day.
Being a child is never easy because you always need the help of others to learn to walk, speak your first words, and learn that hugs and the right words can relieve anxiety.
The needs of the child within us
Now that we have established that we all have a child within us, it is important to know what it can ask of us.
Think about the following for a moment:
- The child within you may ask you to clear up certain aspects of your past.
- It is possible that you need an explanation about something specific in your childhood, expect an apology, or you may even need to apologize.
- It could just as well be that there is nothing in your past to resolve. But the child in us also requires us to be freer in our everyday lives .
- You should allow yourself to relativize your reality a little. Free yourself from stress and worries.
- Be more spontaneous, allow yourself to laugh more often, to regain some of your lost naivety and with this the daydream.
- The child in us also craves love. To love and to be loved. Overcome your concerns, shame, or demeanor as a gray adult and allow yourself some emotional freedom.
How we heal the child within us
Any process of emotional healing requires our full and sincere beliefs. Nobody is forced to be free. There is no need to be.
It should be clear that if you don’t first admit to yourself that you have one, you can’t solve a particular problem. For example, think about your everyday life.
Do you suffer from stress? Have you lost the ability to dream? Do you feel that no matter how hard your partner tries, he is not making you happy? Is there some kind of love that you lack that you cannot define?
This brief illustration and emotional reconstruction exercise can help us with many things.
- Find a photo that was taken when you were little, when you were seven or eight years old.
- Let the memories come back in peace. Recall these years and free yourself so that the feelings and images can come back.
- Now imagine yourself with this child. The two of you, the “adult me” and the “me of your childhood” face to face.
- Ask what it needs, what it wants, what it lacks. Ask them what they want in order to feel free and fulfilled.
Reflect on it, it will definitely help you.
