The Stubbornness Of Love – If The Parts Don’t Fit Together Even With Violence

I don’t like not trying something or giving up at the first sign of resistance. I refuse to accept things as they are with a shrug from the start. It may be difficult, but I will really try to make it work. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m confused and what I see as an attempt to solve everything for the best is just the stubbornness of love.

Love means effort and sacrifice. Love is not easy, it demands renunciation. How many times have we heard this kind of utterance? Words that seem banal, but that are firmly anchored in our thinking. Suddenly we are fighting for something that is impossible. We are taught that. To fight, to wage war, just don’t cross your arms while doing nothing. But we are not aware of these circumstances because we fear that we will feel bad for not making an effort. And besides, the other person can only see how in love we are.

But love’s stubbornness never ends well.

The stubbornness of love causes great disasters

There are many couples who don’t know why they wake up one day and suddenly feel different. The butterflies in her stomach no longer flutter. Enough time has passed to break with ideals and let hopes sink. Now we see reality and feel discouraged.

Some people only become aware of this after many years have passed. If you have a family with children. A happy family? It always seemed that way on the outside, but everything within us indicates that this is not the case. Suddenly the differences become more apparent. You are not alike, but it doesn’t have to be a negative. What was it about that opposites attract?

That was just a saying that leads us to disaster, to believe in lies that have nothing to do with the truth. The fact that you are too different is driving you apart rather than bringing you closer together. When you live together, have bad experiences and find yourself in stressful situations, all of this confuses you and even if the pressure sometimes seems to ease, the moment comes again when the relationship seems unbearable.

Sometimes the past can be reason enough not to give up: “We didn’t go through all these good and bad times together just to throw in the towel now.”   We hold on to that so as not to lose what we once won. In order not to feel like a failure, to show our partner that we love him and that we want to continue to look into the future with him. We refuse to accept that the relationship is coming to an end. But trying to strengthen them and keep them alive, no matter how, only makes matters worse.

The youngest in the house are more likely to have unpleasant experiences. Quarrels, reproaches and many more moments that result from stubbornness, which is nothing more than the terrible fear of accepting the end of the relationship. It’s over and you deny it. But the pieces don’t fit together anymore and the fear of what’s outside of that comfort zone you’ve lived in for so many years paralyzes you and pushes you into a state of indolence.

Not fighting is the same as not wanting to

We are wrong if we think that if we give up the fight and accept the situation as it is, it means that the other person is no longer worth anything to us. The opposite is the case. It is a sign of maturity, of knowing when the end has come and not wanting to avoid the bush.

Now you know that your parts do not fit together, that it may have been like that for some time or even always has been. The good intentions you had at the beginning hid a situation that over time has shown its true colors. You are not compatible and that is the way it is.

You can drown yourself in a jaded relationship where you hurt each other without wanting to because the circumstances are uncomfortable for everyone. You will not find the happiness you are looking for, and gradually this futility will embitter you.

What happens to a puzzle if that piece doesn’t fit? As much as we try to force it in, we’re just going to bend it, kink it, and make it look weird. That will happen to your partner too. Worry, pressure, and discomfort will then be the most appropriate description of your relationship.

In the stubbornness of love there will always be injured. The lack of acceptance of reality leads to a truly painful failure. The end of the relationship, on the other hand, is not necessarily a failure.

Don’t be afraid that everything will go wrong. Things don’t always turn out the way we’d like, and sometimes they change when we least expect them. That’s life and relationships are like that too. Unpredictable and changeable, but we can learn a lot from them. Put this stubbornness of love aside and accept that not everything can always be the way you want it to be. Most importantly, never think that that means that the person never meant anything to you.

Images courtesy of David Hockney, Timothy Clark, Gordon Johnson