We Are No Longer “the Ones From Before “

We are no longer the same as we were at that moment, which seems as close as it is far to us: We will never be what we used to be because life demands change from us. To no longer be “those of the past” also means to have been fortunate that the experiences shaped us and that we learned from them.

It is often very easy for us to assume that the people around us have changed and that the same thing has therefore happened to our relationship with them. At the same time, we find it very difficult to see that we have changed too, and we fail to notice that the flaw in our conclusion is to look at yesterday with today’s eyes.

When we change

It seems correct to say that we usually define ourselves by key events that have shaped us and that we know we will remember forever. These events can be the basis of a new reality that we come into contact with, be it a journey, a betrayal in love, or the fear and nervousness that one feels when having to service a mortgage.

Let us take as an example that we are going to another country for some time: there we have to adapt to the way people live, to different habits and to new ways of thinking that will open our minds. It is a similar experience to have always believed in an unconditional friendship with someone and then to realize that it is not so strong after all. Regardless of whether the experience is good or bad, it is enough for it to fill us with emotions: we will never forget real happiness, but neither will we forget how we got up after our defeats.

What we have left of all of this is what has given our self its shape today: our essence is the same, but we are no longer the same.

When our social environment changes

If we need to change as individuals, so do others, and consequently all of our interpersonal relationships.  So if our social environment changes – our family, friends, our partner – then it makes sense to be open to these changes.

However, it can also happen to us that the changes lead to ruptures: We believed that we knew the people completely and we did not consider that this was impossible because we are in constant growth.

“Well, what should I tell you?
Time conquers everything. It brings us to our knees,
without compassion, terribly and brutally.
Because one day you meet her on the street,
she kisses you briefly on the cheek and smiles:
‘They ‘re waiting for me’ and leaves. “

Rodolfo Serrano

When someone leaves us from our social environment, it hurts us a lot and our world seems to be thrown out of joint: Only the time and a lot of effort make it possible to meet this person again and to give us the certainty that the wound is has closed. We realize again that we are no longer “those of the past”.

We’re not the same anymore

Time drives us: it passes us by, it jostles us, it teaches us, it reveals us and, above all, it does not leave us indifferent. No matter what the day brings, even if it seems lost, it has meant something: We make decisions all the time and if we don’t, then we drift.

“When we thought we had all the answers
, suddenly the questions changed.”

Mario Benedetti

Getting lost is good, even if it might not seem like that on the surface: It doesn’t matter if we are lost in heaven, as if we were in a cloud of constant joy, or if we spent too much time on the ground . Time is our teacher and it gets us in shape physically and psychologically.

The beautiful and important thing is to have the courage to get to know each other and to know how and who we are now. In this way we can experience life in all its fullness and we will find flames of happiness in it that fill us. If we shine through our changes, then we will help others to shine with theirs too.