Why Do We Evaluate Others?

Don’t judge anyone until you have stood in their place.  This often heard sentence reminds us well: At some point each of us has been judged. Each of us has been the subject of a discussion at some point, was judged correctly or incorrectly, and was angry or felt hurt about it.

How can we respond to a judgment?

First of all, take a deep breath and gain some distance. Understand that the impulse to judge people and things is universal. It is something that has always been done and always will be done.

The second step is easy. Accept that what was said has nothing to do with you. Depersonalize it. The opinion or words of others do not define you. At a later point in time, you can reveal your point of view to the other so that they can see a more authentic truth.

Usually the people who judge others the most have the least confidence. If someone does not accept himself unconditionally, he cannot accept others either. They are strict perfectionists who use every opportunity to judge others.

What is behind reviews?

Nobody likes to be judged. When we are judged, we are stamped and we feel constrained and small. According to psychologists , we all have a slight tendency to ‘typify’ the people around us and ‘pigeonhole’ them. Some are immature. Others are lazy. Still others are moody and irresponsible, or simply as negative as insecure.

And while we all do, there is one thing we should be very clear about: If you don’t want to be rated, avoid rating others.

And even if some of our reviews contain a grain of truth, it is always worth stopping for a moment and spending a day in the other person’s shoes. Try to understand how they feel, react, suffer, and interact with the world and us.

The people who tend to value others excessively often have the following characteristics:

1. Low self-esteem

People with low self-esteem often use reviews to put themselves in a controlling position. From this controlling position, they can more easily defend themselves and protect themselves from others. They call you ‘insecure’ or a ‘failure’, and that’s because that’s how they actually feel. By branding you, they are trying to take control of you and portray themselves as the complete opposite.

In other words, people with low self-esteem project their own insecurities and quirks onto others. It is much easier for these people to label others and judge things instead of seeing them in themselves. It is redeeming for them and gives them power.

2. Lack of empathy

Those people who find it easy to judge other people and who do so simply to hurt them lack empathy. In addition, these people, who are unable to see the complexities of others and understand that people are more than simple types, may also find it difficult to see their own needs, flaws, and strengths.

It is always easier to judge others than to go inside and look at yourself with humility while showing respect to other people at the same time.

3. Emotional wounds

There are two ways you can react when you’ve been hurt. The first is learning from what happened on an emotional level, acting in a ‘strong, resilient’ way, and moving forward. In return, you will become wiser in dealing with certain situations. In this way we become more empathetic people who, instead of judging others, know better how to deal with situations and who can understand others without pigeonholing them.

On the other hand, there are people who are not particularly good at dealing with painful situations. They are full of resentment and resentment. It is so serious and harmful that they feel compelled to judge others in order to protect their own bitterness, worries, and inner demons.

Instead of seeing problematic situations from an open, creative and respectful perspective, they act like bad guys. And that is a very harmful and dangerous behavior.

Before judging others, you should unconditionally accept yourself. This includes both your mistakes and your talents. When you work on your self-acceptance, you also build your self-esteem. And that’s exactly what happens when you change the way you treat yourself and others.